Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
