I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
