while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
