I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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