Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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