we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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