Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
