so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
