There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
