last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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