I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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