yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
