Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
