My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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