return my video game
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
