I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
