did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize