her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
