barbara walters just said penis...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize