I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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