dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
