One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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