he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize