You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
