Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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