she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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