I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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