You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
