I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize