I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
