so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
