She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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