I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
