And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize