; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
