You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
