marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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