Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

woah 15?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

i know! what is this dateline?

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(978): dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation. (1-978): woah 15? (978): i know! what is this dateline? http://tfl.nu/8i0q

Replies (12) Good night (593) Bad night (1784)
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(806): View more from Texas

How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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(806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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(215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m

Replies (17) Good night (467) Bad night (2303)
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(916): View more from California

I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex

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(916): I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex http://tfl.nu/qjjk

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(714): View more from California

Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

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(714): Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are. http://tfl.nu/u4g1

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(530): View more from California

So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.

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(530): So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention. http://tfl.nu/8fhv

Replies (11) Good night (961) Bad night (3888) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.

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(970): If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time. http://tfl.nu/fjy0

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(801): View more from Utah

that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow

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(801): that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow http://tfl.nu/5dzd

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(732): View more from New Jersey

thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.

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(732): thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal. http://tfl.nu/c0z7

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Thanks, mom.

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(202): You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway. (1-202): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/107n

Replies (25) Good night (1715) Bad night (4312)
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(303): View more from Colorado

We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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(303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536

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(734): View more from Michigan

It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.

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(734): It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/kgmn

Replies (24) Good night (4596) Bad night (590)
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(217): View more from Illinois

It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties

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(217): It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties http://tfl.nu/jqe8

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."

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(303): I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions." http://tfl.nu/0cl8

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(406): View more from Montana

Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry

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(406): Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry http://tfl.nu/gx9l

Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt

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