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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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• (108): View more from

  Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.

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• (909): View more from California

  I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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• (619): View more from California

  Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.

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