worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
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