Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.