Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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  (808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/mtia
  Replies (12) Good night (1496) Bad night (775)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4430) Bad night (896)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6522) Bad night (927)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.

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  (609): walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice. http://tfl.nu/elke
  Replies (11) Good night (3773) Bad night (716)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

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  (850): I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper? http://tfl.nu/y2i2
  Replies (7) Good night (1384) Bad night (3330)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.

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  (419): Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit. http://tfl.nu/7cu4
  Replies (13) Good night (2301) Bad night (744)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

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  (504): I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex. http://tfl.nu/xk62
  Replies (7) Good night (1775) Bad night (624)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

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  (916): I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay http://tfl.nu/vfh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1112) Bad night (2236)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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  (303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf
  Replies (3) Good night (1519) Bad night (560)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done

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  (405): I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done http://tfl.nu/3aup
  Replies (5) Good night (1071) Bad night (596)
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  (729): View more from

  Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.

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  (729): Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/1y7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1767) Bad night (560)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?

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  (607): I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing? http://tfl.nu/ocvg
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (764)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall

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  (719): Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall http://tfl.nu/gilf
  Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (300)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.

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  (405): That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing. http://tfl.nu/0pwv
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (328)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale

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  (515): as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale http://tfl.nu/139w
  Replies (4) Good night (369) Bad night (109)

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