I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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