First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
