he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
