That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
