I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I booty called her while she was in labor.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?