Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(718): View more from New York

Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom." http://tfl.nu/h2e6

Replies (17) Good night (5009) Bad night (1602)
Favorite
(905): View more from Ontario

the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster http://tfl.nu/r7o9

Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (3846)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

(973): View more from New Jersey

Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

(229): View more from Georgia

Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass' (973): Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic. (229): Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom? http://tfl.nu/xp9a

Replies (9) Good night (4186) Bad night (1084)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk. http://tfl.nu/wafm

Replies (15) Good night (5371) Bad night (1177)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/3spk

Replies (10) Good night (1116) Bad night (4134)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here http://tfl.nu/yje7

Replies (7) Good night (2710) Bad night (1055)
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong. http://tfl.nu/r133

Replies (2) Good night (1402) Bad night (783)
Favorite
(517): View more from Michigan

i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg

Replies (8) Good night (2027) Bad night (1144)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond. http://tfl.nu/i1tf

Replies (12) Good night (2759) Bad night (1002)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex http://tfl.nu/eas7

Replies (19) Good night (1848) Bad night (2177)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing http://tfl.nu/4pbh

Replies (10) Good night (1512) Bad night (871)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride. http://tfl.nu/wxrx

Replies (6) Good night (1696) Bad night (623)
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks. http://tfl.nu/yrtx

Replies (2) Good night (1041) Bad night (479)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is? http://tfl.nu/qsbg

Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (711)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man? http://tfl.nu/stzo

Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (150)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard