Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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(416): View more from Ontario

girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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(601): View more from Mississippi

And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome

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(806): View more from Texas

First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

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(619): View more from California

this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport

(619): View more from California

if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy

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