Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

(778): View more from British Columbia

Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

(604): View more from British Columbia

Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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(604): I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous? (778): Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely. (604): Ohh that happened after I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/giil

Replies (14) Good night (944) Bad night (4446)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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(508): billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down. http://tfl.nu/h3l0

Replies (11) Good night (1128) Bad night (3583)
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(571): View more from Virginia

i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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(571): i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms. http://tfl.nu/yba6

Replies (21) Good night (6094) Bad night (892)
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(425): View more from Washington

got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

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(425): got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche. http://tfl.nu/j1u9

Replies (11) Good night (3811) Bad night (620)
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(209): View more from California

what is college for if not random hookup sex?

(951): View more from California

learning.

(209): View more from California

i would literally fuck learning if i could.

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(209): what is college for if not random hookup sex? (951): learning. (209): i would literally fuck learning if i could. http://tfl.nu/3rtk

Replies (50) Good night (9588) Bad night (895)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.

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(570): when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one. http://tfl.nu/52ae

Replies (16) Good night (3693) Bad night (1367)
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(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m

Replies (13) Good night (4877) Bad night (1639)
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(435): View more from Utah

I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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(435): I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs. http://tfl.nu/z5mq

Replies (13) Good night (2683) Bad night (718)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...

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(507): I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs... http://tfl.nu/9q2b

Replies (6) Good night (1198) Bad night (741)
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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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(770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo

Replies (4) Good night (1758) Bad night (435)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.

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(952): I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me. http://tfl.nu/5m33

Replies (1) Good night (1204) Bad night (405)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.

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(850): I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/6a77

Replies (5) Good night (1433) Bad night (330)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

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(832): Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL. http://tfl.nu/25yr

Replies (3) Good night (1704) Bad night (466)
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(251): View more from Alabama

My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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(251): My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay http://tfl.nu/tgej

Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (303)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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(603): I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked... http://tfl.nu/22n2

Replies (4) Good night (347) Bad night (685)

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