When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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