summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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