well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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