I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
