So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
