No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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