Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize