ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
