He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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