I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
