sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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