Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
