We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
