dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
