Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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