So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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