I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
