you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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