New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"