I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Come see our sink grown plant.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room