Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
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She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.