Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one