Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
