Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?

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(303): I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day? http://tfl.nu/tvel

Replies (19) Good night (2983) Bad night (693)
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(360): View more from Washington

He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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(360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x

Replies (63) Good night (5602) Bad night (979)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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(256): I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics. http://tfl.nu/u31h

Replies (25) Good night (5600) Bad night (1131)
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(917): View more from New York City

Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.

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(917): Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th. http://tfl.nu/pukg

Replies (8) Good night (4242) Bad night (1063)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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(513): Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small http://tfl.nu/dnf0

Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (1380)
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(586): View more from Michigan

So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.

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(586): So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER. http://tfl.nu/hlts

Replies (7) Good night (1715) Bad night (532)
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(802): View more from Vermont

when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"

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(802): when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us" http://tfl.nu/ho4p

Replies (3) Good night (1369) Bad night (436)
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(631): View more from New York

She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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(631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj

Replies (21) Good night (4790) Bad night (745)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.

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(202): That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off. http://tfl.nu/x6zl

Replies (11) Good night (716) Bad night (1662)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

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(502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj

Replies (8) Good night (823) Bad night (525)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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(865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo

Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (333)
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(512): View more from Texas

I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

(512): View more from Texas

It was just one of those nights, man.

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(512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y

Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (608)
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(226): View more from Ontario

No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time

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(226): No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time http://tfl.nu/rgly

Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (379)
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(585): View more from New York

I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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(585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1

Replies (8) Good night (433) Bad night (276)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.

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(732): this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like. http://tfl.nu/91y5

Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (572)

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