Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

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  (850): I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life. (1-850): Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say. http://tfl.nu/wlmq
  Replies (11) Good night (913) Bad night (1712)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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  (410): my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts" http://tfl.nu/2c0p
  Replies (14) Good night (3828) Bad night (755)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...

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  (204): When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends? (1-204): When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why? (204): I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well... http://tfl.nu/o1jd
  Replies (21) Good night (7759) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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  (908): There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life. http://tfl.nu/ab1p
  Replies (87) Good night (7848) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

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  (316): i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight? http://tfl.nu/82sl
  Replies (73) Good night (9881) Bad night (2297)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

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  (315): I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever. http://tfl.nu/6dcd
  Replies (20) Good night (6455) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  How come I never meet celebrities?

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  (410): Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield" (1-410): How come I never meet celebrities? http://tfl.nu/j09q
  Replies (7) Good night (3558) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.

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  (970): There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/bv2v
  Replies (10) Good night (4490) Bad night (865)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You went to jail last night?!

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  Just a little bit.

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  (910): You went to jail last night?! (1-910): Just a little bit. http://tfl.nu/exzq
  Replies (24) Good night (3951) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her

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  (312): This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her http://tfl.nu/f7pk
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.

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  (303): I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/angx
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.

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  (802): This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again. http://tfl.nu/ts2y
  Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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  (301): I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo http://tfl.nu/z0dg
  Replies (2) Good night (1334) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

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  (919): It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds. http://tfl.nu/w9p4
  Replies (7) Good night (687) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

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  (917): Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air. http://tfl.nu/q0rt
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (171)

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