carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
