I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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