my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize