he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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