At least make sure they are 18
Why
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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