Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
